My ethnic makeup wasn't a surprise. I suppose having so much Scandinavian ancestry struck me as odd, given that my only known Scandinavian ancestors were a single family from the 1700s. But I learned that the Vikings had a huge impact on England, especially northern England and Scotland. And I don't think its an exact science, at least not yet. It is inexplicable to me that my son has a higher percentage of English DNA than my wife and I do put together. And that my wife had some Polynesian ancestry baffles me, although we joke about it. I suspect that it is more likely that the Polynesian DNA samples were from those who had some Danish ancestry, from early explorers visiting the islands, and perhaps she and these sampled Polynesians, share some distant common ancestry.
And I have been very pleased with how my DNA matches so many people on my ancestral lines. It does a lot to validate my research. But I haven't yet had much luck with my dead-ends. DNA testing hasn't yet given me solid answers as to their ancestry, but suggests that my research has been focused in the wrong area. That itself is worth a lot, and hopefully I'll eventually find a close match to one of my dead-ends that breaks down a wall.
I have found that a large percentage of people who have submitted DNA are people who have adoptions in their backgrounds. For me to see this in my family is a bit surprising to me, and I suppose it shouldn't be. These things are fairly common, generally secret and would be a surprise to most people.
One woman I've been in touch with was totally unknown to her half-siblings. Her biological mother had her and gave her up for adoption after the siblings had moved away from home. They couldn't accept that this woman was their half sister, because they found the story absurd.
Another woman I was in touch with is a close DNA relative, but she was adopted and just wanted to know her heritage. She wasn't very interested in finding her biological family and didn't want to cause any trouble with them. I know roughly how she is related to me, but I've left it up to her if she wants to pursue her biological relationship.
Ancestry DNA showed that I have a close match, first cousin level, that I couldn't explain. I couldn't imagine a first cousin that I didn't know about, an uncle or aunt who had a baby outside of marriage and given up for adoption. I heard back from this man who shared a DNA match with me, but it wasn't immediately obvious how we were connected. His mother was from Charter Oak, Iowa, near my family, but I couldn't find a connection. He said he never knew his birth father, and that his birth father himself was adopted. I warned him that I might uncover some sensitive things, especially dealing with adoptions, but he assured me that it was not a problem. I eventually proved my statement to be right, but not in the way I expected.
The man said his father was Keith Palmer and I found him in the 1940 census, near Castana, Iowa.
My mother was a Stephenson. She had five sisters and two brothers, and one of them was probably Keith Palmer's biological parent given the close DNA match with Keith's son. I ruled out the brothers as father, because their child would be considered the mother's, not the father's, and wouldn't have had the Stephenson notation in that case. The two older sisters were married by 1940, and it didn't seem reasonable that Keith could have been theirs. Three younger sisters were no older than 15, and not likely prospects to be Keith's birth mother, at least not in those days. That left my mother, single, age 20, as the most likely candidate for mother of Keith Palmer. That was impossible though. Surely, I would have known about this.
I thought about the closeness of the match I was investigating. My match was with Keith's son, who was predicted to be as close as first cousin. Keith would have been even closer than that. If he had been the child of one of my aunts or uncles, he would be just half cousin. It only made sense that he and I shared the same mother. If that was the case, he would be my half brother and his son would be my half nephew. A bit of study on the topic revealed to me that a half nephew is just as close a DNA relationship as first cousin. It was looking more and more likely that my mother was Keith Palmer's mother.
I sent out a few emails, made a phone call, and learned that this was true. (And that I was the last to find out). I found out what happened. Apparently, my mother was at a party where she was with another woman who got drunk and couldn't walk home. She asked a guy at the party to drive them home, and he raped Mom. She got pregnant with this man's baby. She was unmarried, living at home in a small house with her parents and three younger sisters, barely making a living after the depression, and now pregnant. Exactly what happened next isn't totally clear to me, but I suspect she went to live with her sister in Castana until Keith was born. The sister arranged the adoption through the family doctor, Dr. McBurney. Keith was adopted by the Palmers.
Keith died in 1985, so I never knew him. He met my Mom and brother once (and me as a four year old apparently). Keith had three children, the man whose DNA match prompted my search, another son, and daughter. All are biologically half nephews and nieces to me.
My head swirls with all this new information. New family. Family secrets. Secrets the family didn't share with me. But most importantly, I wonder about the struggle my Mom must have had. The shame of a single woman getting pregnant. Having to carry a child full term, only to give it up, and not being able to talk about it. I wonder what it was like for Keith, being adopted, being given up, wondering why, and how it affected his life. And I'd like to know a bit about Keith's family. But do they want to know about me? Do they even know Keith was adopted?
I am very happy to have found out what I did. It is a puzzle piece that I didn't know was missing. But yet, the piece fits and helps me understand my Mom. And I'm glad to have found this out in time to learn what really happened, so that my brother and I didn't get the wrong idea about what happened to Mom. I warned Keith's son that these adoption scenarios can be a bit sensitive. I was right, but I had no idea what an effect this would have on me.
When you submit your DNA sample, you just might find out the truth. Truth you weren't even looking for. Have an open mind.
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